& i’m only human
I have begun a new high school. In doing this I have set off the wheels in motion for disaster. I don’t know what I am doing, but everything feels right. So you’re probably asking, “Why disaster?” Well, children. There is this guy. He is the dark, mysterious guy who has friends but stays secluded, the guy on the road to self discovery. We kissed. The sad thing is, is that this is my ex best friend’s ex boyfriend. Well, this sucks.
hi. i don’t know what to say right now. you will never see this, unless i decide to show you if we hang out tomorrow. i have a lot to say, so please bear with me, because now that we’re moving on from each other, there’s things that were left unsaid… that i want to say. things i always wanted you to know.
i’ll start at the beginning. i am so happy that i ever met you. that day on the bus, the day before the freshman field trip. you were really fucking obnoxious, and it’s funny, because 14 months later, look at that, you still are! you were annoying enough to be heard over my phone on max volume. i appreciate that, kiddo, that was my favorite song that you interrupted.
everything was magical and wonderful. rushed yet slow. a bunch of combined oxymoron’s would describe us. we were so bad for each other, and good at the same time. you balanced me out, you fought me at every turn, we were both stubborn and hard headed, and it did us no good, but it only brought us closer together.
i will miss kissing, and holding hands, and cuddling, and making love, and i’m sitting here crying, because i will always love you, i have from the very moment i saw you. you are perfect. and you deserve the best and nothing less than that, and i hope that you find it some day, and i hope i do too. and i’m texting you right this minute, acting like i am perfectly fine, but i’m not.
but now that we’re not together i can tell you things, and i will help you get the girl you like, even if it fucks you over, because i want you to be happy, and i want to be happy. you’re helping me get the guy who doesn’t care, and i’m just about done with him. there’s better, just like i always thought with you, but there really wasn’t. everything was worth it. every fight, every tear, worth it.
i will always love you dylan carl………… always. no matter how much it pains me to let go. but it’s okay babe, because we will always be best friends, who knows what the future has in store for us.
i really hate parties. especially because everyone going to this one go to the other high school… and i’m just sat here like, yup, going to a party with a bunch of people i don’t know. feels good.
you are such a waste of my fucking time.