i think i’m over thinking things a tad much. sure, i’m upset. sure, it’s heart breaking to see all my really close friends in relationships, even my so called acquaintences are dating. my whole school is 70% couples, 20% friends with benefits, and 10% forever alone. pretty sure i fall under that 10%, since i haven’t had a relationship in forever and probably won’t have one for a really long ass time. and it just pisses me off. i want to feel love, give love. i want to hold hands, give kisses, receive kisses, kisses on the forehead, all that cute shit that comes in the bundles of relationships. but no! i get fucked over. always. so while all my friends are so fucking cute together, there’s me, who can’t go on the double dates and do all the fun, friend, dating things. so i have no friends or love life. i’m totally living it up.
today has been absolutely perfect. i woke up and the sun was shining and the birds were singing and i realized i was missing out on so much. that i had so much potential that was being wasted, sitting here crying over you. that one girl had picked me up completely with the help of all my friends, and taught me there’s a bright side to everything. there are people who care.
and i hope you’re happy with your relationship. the one where it isn’t you and her. it’s you, her, anna, jake and cody. or you and her and cody. or her and cody. you never hang out. you hardly talk. if you are giving me up for that shit, cool. then you deserve my bitchy attitude, asshole. she left you for cody last year, wrote him love notes. she holds his hand and puts her arms around him. every time she’s mad at you she runs straight for him. lol, if that’s what you want, fine. you got 2 for 1 babe and i hope that makes you proud when you could have the one and only.
i am going to go to skills usa for mr. izzo and do telecommunications. i will fucking beat ass. i know i can do it. i will stay at tech and not let the people run me out. i will pass all my classes and make my family proud. i will be all the things i’ve been promising myself i’d be. if you really knew me, you’d know i won’t back down.